J.B. Pritzker Has Answers for All the Easy Questions, but When it Comes to Fixing Illinois, He’s “Gotta Go” (A Sarcastic Analysis of a Pritzker Advertisement)

I’m sure you know him, one of the richest guys in the state, and I’m sure you’ve seen his (infamous) commercials, including the one I’m talking about.

J.B. Pritzker, who is running for governor, is just meandering down the block (you should seriously watch it) when confronted by an interviewer.

Hey, J.B., what’s the first thing you did this morning?

I’m thinking shower, shave, make breakfast for the kids, or walk the dog.

But not J.B. He went to a parent-teacher conference for his son.

My parents when to all of my parent-teacher conferences when I was in elementary and middle school. Not one of them was ever first thing in the morning. But maybe J.B. gets up at 5 a.m.

But instead of following up on that incongruity, our intrepid interviewer asks another tough question: “All-time favorite television series?” She asks. I can’t tell you how much I wanted to ask Bruce Rauner or Dan McConchie this question, but contained myself.

J.B. answers “Gilligan’s Island” and “Walking Dead.” What a renaissance man. I would never have picked those, but I’d die for a TV special called “The Walking Dead visits Gilligan’s Island.”

But let’s move on. Best concert you’ve ever been to, J.B.? Steve Miller and the Eagles, he says.

OK, (when I’m not listening to country) my music taste is a bit older than J.B., but from his answer I think I can assume our musical history covers the same era. But, I wouldn’t pay to see those guys.

No Springsteen? No Allman Brothers? No Fleetwood Mac or Rod Stewart or Rolling Stones? J.B., you’ve got to get out more.

Then comes the question that is as close to the “favorite color” question as we can get. What is J.B.’s favorite season? He likes springtime.

I think that is rather odd for a Chicagoan, when there is nothing to do in springtime but hunker down in the cold and the rain, unless he goes to Daytona Beach in springtime. Maybe he saw Steve Miller at the Daytona Holiday Inn one night. After all, my parents saw Little Richard there and supposedly it was a pretty good show.

Finally comes the biggie, the question every candidate waits for because it is placed on a tee for J.B. to hit out of the park.

“In one sentence,” the interviewer asks, “why are you running for governor?”

J.B. doesn’t hesitate: “Because everything that I care about, and I think everything we care about, is under siege by Bruce Rauner and Donald Trump.”

And then he quickly adds: “I gotta go.”

I think the “I gotta go” is my favorite part of the whole ad. J.B. has time to answer questions about concerts, TV shows and favorite seasons, but when it comes to running the state of Illinois, he’s gotta go.

Nothing about the pension crisis, the budget crisis, the tax crisis, the education crisis, the innocent people getting shot every day in Chicago crisis (including kids sitting on their front stoop), people leaving in Illinois in droves crisis or the what kind of sandwich does Michael Madigan want crisis, and “he’s gotta go”.

And I’m supposed to vote for this guy? I still don’t know his favorite color.

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As Social Security and Medicare Dwindle…

Fiscal calamities are sometimes sudden and unforeseen. A war or natural catastrophe can require lots of money on short notice. A recession depletes revenues that were already spoken for.

But the crisis in funding for Social Security and Medicare is not that kind. In fact, it’s the most predictable budget crisis the nation has ever faced. Policymakers, alas, have taken its slow emergence not as a chance to act early but as an excuse to procrastinate.

The outlook is darkening. The trustees of the Social Security and Medicare funds report that, yes, they are still running out of money. This year, for the first time since 1982, Social Security will pay more in benefits than it gets in revenue. And the gap will only grow.

The fund that pays retirement and disability benefits, the trustees calculate, will be exhausted 16 years from now. This is bad news for those who don’t plan to retire before 2034 and worse news for those who are younger still. The Medicare fund, however, will be depleted just eight years from now.

If all that happens, Social Security will have the money to cover only about three-quarters of its obligations. Medicare will have just 91 percent of what it needs. Avoiding these grim scenarios will require Congress to find ways to close the gap.

The forecast is scary for those in their 40s and 50s, who can see retirement on the horizon – not to mention for older Americans, who are already there. But it’s worst for younger people, who can expect to be paying more in the short run and getting less in the long term.

The causes of the problem are well-known: benefit costs that have risen faster than income and will keep doing so. The retirement of the baby boom generation has swelled the rolls at a time when birth rates are low. In 1960, there were five Americans working for every one collecting Social Security. By 2005, it was down to 3.3 workers per retiree. Today, it’s around 2.8 and falling.

Medicare has gotten an extra hit, because health care costs have been on a growth spurt. Per capita Medicare outlays are projected to triple by 2040.

So, what to do? The Trump administration says the tax reform passed last year will boost economic growth and bring in a lot more revenue, but so far, it’s done neither. In fact, reducing individual income tax rates trimmed revenue from taxes on Social Security benefits — revenue that goes into the trust funds.

But the administration has a point: Faster GDP growth would make a huge difference in preserving the solvency of the funds. Any policy that promises to boost the economy deserves a serious look.

Another option is admitting more immigrants, which would expand the number of people making payroll tax contributions. But the trustees report that the end of the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals program “will reduce the number of authorized workers and projected payroll tax income slightly.” Letting the dreamers stay and work — and admitting more legal immigrants — would be a fiscal boon.

But there is probably no getting around the need to curtail the growth of retirement and Medicare benefits. This is a politically dangerous option, which is why our policymakers have been in no hurry to embrace it. But putting it off will only make solutions harder.

The right time to address the problem was a decade or two ago. Had reforms been adopted then, these programs would have a much better future — and those Americans who need them would have had more time to adapt. As it is, Congress and the president can do a lot to avert disaster. But time is not on their side.

Bigoted Boy Scouts Welcome Girls But Still Exclude All 49,247 Other Genders (Satire)

IRVING, TX—In a bold move designed to garner praise from the nation’s progressives, the Boy Scouts of America finally admitted girls into their ranks, but were discovered to be hopelessly bigoted upon the revelation that they are still excluding the 49,247 other genders that have been scientifically identified.

The Scouts immediately drew heavy criticism for only allowing one additional gender to join their ranks while ignoring the tens of thousands of other genders who might wish to become a Scout.

“How can they call themselves progressive when they still won’t recognize even basic gender identities like toothpaste and Space Marine?” one progressive leader said in a Huffington Post article slamming the organization for its obvious traditional biases.

“It’s 2018, and a person who identifies as a metronome still can’t join the Boy Scouts. Let that sink in,” she added. “I mean, seriously. Let that kid who thinks he’s a sink join the group for cryin’ out loud.”

The Scouts quickly apologized for their decision and attempted to make things right by introducing a barrage of new social justice-oriented merit badges, including a Woke Badge, a Marginalized Badge, and a Help, Help, I’m Being Repressed Badge.


Disclaimer: The above story is satire. It is completely fictitious.

On the Syrian Bombing…

The motivation for Great Britain, France and the United States to use their air power to downgrade Assad’s capability to use chemical weapons is to send a message to the other rogue states that in this, on this earth we cannot permit, the Western powers, cannot permit chemical weapons or nuclear weapons and we just can’t permit them to be used.

Now, there are a number of people who doubt that Assad the dictator of Syria, is using chlorine and the other chemical weapons. There is no one else on the planet that has the delivery system to place chlorine gas in a suburb of Damascus, no one, it’s either Assad or nobody. Now, he’s got a history all the intelligence agencies agree that he’s doing it. Macon of France and Theresa May of Great Britain never in a million years would have signed on with Donald Trump to bomb Syria had their intelligence services, not said it’s Assad. So, the bombing to downgrade the chemical situation was lawful and legitimate.

Now, whether we should do it or participate you can debate that all day long. But if we’re not going to send messages throughout the world that chemical weapons are unacceptable if we the United States are not going to do that. Who’s going to do it? So, then you’re going to have every tinhorn Decatur having chemical weapons because they’re not hard to develop. That’s what led to the Iraq war that everybody thought Saddam Hussein had this big cache of chemical and biological weapons, it’s turned out to be false by the way. And the intelligence agencies turned out to be wrong, I’ll see that. But now we have a number of attacks in Syria. A number of attacks on the ground the medical people say this baby died from chlorine ingestion. All right, the doctors aren’t lying, so it’s who’s putting the chlorine in? Who’s putting the chemical weapons in as nobody else has a delivery system to do it. It’s not like Syria is a place where you can just drive around with big trucks full of chemical weapons and dump them. You know the military controls Syria. So, if you know anything about this there isn’t any doubt that Assad is the villain and he’s protected by Putin in Russia and Iran.

So, he feels he can get away with it, see he would love, Assad would love to have America and Russia slug it out. Assad would love that so that’s one of the reasons that he continues to do this to try to get a bigger conflict going. Assad is a real evil guy. Now, you turn on the television and you hear the dishonest charlatans say oh this is “wag the dog”. That means the movie, Wag the Dog, where Dustin Hoffman was in. And it’s about a president who gets in trouble and then creates falsifies a military conflict, to get people’s minds off the trouble that he has.

So, immediately these charlatans go out on cable television, network television, “oh it’s Wag the Dog”. So, I’m saying to myself to believe that you would have to believe that Macron of France and May of Great Britain are colluding with Trump to save him from the Mueller investigation, they’re all in it together. The big, big drive to save Donald Trump’s butt. Who on earth would believe that? Who? It’s so moronic, so stupid, so insulting to anyone’s intelligence, yet there they are being paid millions of dollars sitting there by major corporations spouting this gibberish and I’m just sitting there going how much are people going to take? And you know what, there’s an audience for it, there’s an audience for, you would think that these people who are bereft of honesty who all day long, their agenda is to destroy people with whom they disagree including Donald Trump. You would think that people, everybody would say you know what enough I’m going to waste my time watching that. I’m not going to waste my time reading that newspaper. I know everything in that newspaper is already a foregone conclusion. The journalistic industry no longer is searching for the truth, they don’t care from the top down. A narrative is put forth to all the journalists who work in the company, and they know that their editors, producers whatever it may be, want to get Trump (awfulness from MSNBC, CNN, NYT, Stephanopoulos, and other countless outlets) or in some cases want to protect (awfulness from Sean Hannity, Laura Ingraham, and Fox & Friends, just to name a few) Trump, then rank and file know that. So, when they’re given an assignment, it’s implied, this is what we’re looking for.

So, the people reporting know what is expected of them if they want to keep their job and get good assignments. Same thing on cable TV, the pundits know what their role is, what they’re expected to say, if they don’t say it, they’re not going to be on. So, these people they go on television oh it’s Wag the Dog, So, there wasn’t anything necessary to do in Syria, it is just Trump wanted to do it to get away from the Mueller investigation and, and Macron and Theresa May, they’re helping the what kind of a moron. I mean really a 6-year-old wouldn’t say that, if they if you gave them the facts they would go, no that doesn’t really sound right, but these people are paid millions of dollars to spit this stuff out every night. It’s unbelievable, and they and people watch all right.

So, summing up the message was to the world you can’t use chemical weapons to kill anybody, much less women and children and if you do the major Western powers are going to hurt you. I don’t object to that message, I do not, even though I know the history of Iraq and how we got involved in something that we should not have gotten involved with based upon wrong information and whatever, I will see that but each situation has to be taken on its own merits.

Paul Ryan: The Speaker Who Spoke About Deficits

Most know how to get most members of Congress and candidates to mumble uncomfortably: Ask for their plans to deal with the nation’s troubling debt load and unsustainable Medicare and Social Security burdens. Politicians love to make lofty promises; they hate to be associated with responsible budget-cutting proposals.

One high-profile exception to that rule is U.S. House Speaker Paul Ryan from Wisconsin, who announced Wednesday he will leave Congress at the end of his current term. Ryan’s been a favorite of mine through his years in Washington because he isn’t afraid to talk about the trillions of dollars America doesn’t have — but spends anyway! — for entitlements. And he sticks his neck out to propose budget solutions.

Back in 2011 when the national debt was $15 trillion and Ryan was about to be accused in an attack advertisement of “throwing granny off the cliff”, he said he’d keep trying to fix massive social programs like Medicare, in order to protect America’s future fiscal health.

“What if your congressman, your president knew what was coming and did nothing?” “… Everyone tells me that I’m giving our political adversaries the massive political weapon to use in the next campaign. Yes, we are. But you know, if you don’t start fixing these things ….”- Speaker Paul Ryan

Today the national debt is $21 trillion. The Medicare trust fund that pays hospital expenses will be depleted in 2029, according to a recent estimate. Social Security will have a shortfall beginning in 2034. Yet the 2018 election season will find many candidates, especially Democrats, embracing a form of universal health insurance they call “Medicare for all.” How to pay for it? Voters are more likely to see another “granny ad” than a detailed plan.

I am not suggesting Ryan, who chaired the House budget and tax-writing committees before becoming speaker, had all the answers. Ryan and his allies in 2011 proposed reining in the deficit and debt partly through a revamping of Medicare that would use a voucher system to provide subsidies for seniors to obtain private insurance. This was a linchpin of the Ryan budget plan. The idea — a more free-market approach — is still floating out there, but the national political focus shifted to Obamacare. Part of Ryan’s concern was that expanding Medicaid under the Affordable Care Act would become another costly burden for states. How to fix or replace Obamacare? Hmm, neither Ryan nor his predecessor as speaker, John Boehner, could solve that thorny problem.

Ryan said he will not seek re-election because it’s time to go home to his family. He doesn’t want to be a permanent “weekend dad.” He never burned with desire to be speaker, but someone in the fractured Republican Party has to wrangle the House cats. Ryan, a respected conservative with strong policy chops, stepped up. Dealing with irascible President Donald Trump made a tough job tougher. Ryan said he isn’t leaving out of fear the Republicans will lose control of the House in November, but such worries seem unavoidable.

No one knows what Ryan plans next. In 2012 he was Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney’s running mate. In 2016, when Republicans braced for the possibility of a deadlocked convention, I rooted for an alternative to Trump and suggested Ryan. That doesn’t mean he should run for president, or that he would earn my support.

But there should always be a prominent role in politics for principled budget-minders. That is Ryan’s congressional legacy.

Calm Down About the Cohen Raid

I have a very firm stance on the ethicality of the raid on the office, home, and hotel room of Donald Trump’s lawyer.

You ready? Here it is: I have no idea whether it was a proper action. But you’ll have to take it on faith that I didn’t consult the Magic 8 Ball before I concluded: all signs point to yes.

Commenters on the social medias are no doubt representative of a large group of grassroots Republicans. They’re hopping mad. They’re calling this a fascist move.

Let’s take the dumbest possible Trumpist argument as a foil with which to clear away some of the underbrush. This may come across like a constructed strawman, but I’m seeing this point of view in my comments, so let me dismantle it before I take speak in a more measured fashion to the people who have not yet lost their minds.

The dumbest possible Trumpist argument is: This is Robert Mueller acting like a fascist. We are in Nazi America and the Gestapo has been released. Any prosecutor who thinks there is the slightest chance that this is on the level is necessarily corrupt. Seizing attorney-client communications shreds several amendments to the Constitution. Surely there is something wrong when Robert Mueller takes the word of a porn star and nothing else to raid the office of the President’s lawyer. This goes beyond TDS. It’s treason. Why, it’s no different from a SWATting!!!!!!

This is a pretty fair paraphrase of some comments I have seen on the social medias. The crazy stuff — the stuff that sensible people would assume I am making up, because rational people don’t talk like this — it’s all there in posts and comments.

More and more, I feel that I have nothing in common with these people. I realize I’m telling off a lot of people who read what I write. I say this with the highest possible respect: you people have lost your minds.

Let’s tick off some of the facts we know:

  • These warrants weren’t executed under the direction of Robert Mueller. They were executed under the direction of the U.S. Attorney for the Southern District of New York, a Trump appointee. There’s really no scenario in which this plays out well for Cohen. We know that Robert Mueller is looking at some of Cohen’s involvement in Russia-related activities like Trump Tower Moscow. Mueller seems like a thorough guy, and if he runs across illegal activity by Cohen of any kind in the course of his investigation, he can at a minimum refer those matters to the Justice Department, and conceivably take them on himself. Disbarment might be the least of Cohen’s worries at this point.Federal prosecutors in Manhattan obtained the search warrant after receiving a referral from the special counsel, Robert S. Mueller III, according to Mr. Cohen’s lawyer.It didn’t take a genius to see this coming, but let’s not pretend Robert Mueller was behind this raid. Even Cohen’s lawyer admits this was based on a referral.
  • It is not unprecedented, at all, to serve a warrant on a lawyer’s office. It usually requires higher levels of scrutiny, to be sure — and like many prosecutorial agencies, DoJ requires several levels of approval for such a warrant. They got it here.
  • It is not unprecedented, at all, to seize attorney-client privileged materials. In no way does that constitute a shredding off the right to counsel or any other constitutional provision. Such materials require strict procedures — a “dirty” team or a special master, with rigid separation from the “clean” team — to ensure that the prosecution team does not get their hands on privileged material. But again: this sort of thing happens all the time. If you were unaware of that fact, it’s time you learned it.
  • A federal magistrate approved this. Yes, magistrates sometimes approve bad warrants. But this was a very high-profile warrant, and a magistrate would have a high incentive to look at it verrrry carefully, so as to avoid looking like a fool later.
  • This warrant is almost certainly not based exclusively, or even in any significant part, on the word of Stormy Daniels. Stormy Daniels is, to put it mildly, not a credible person. She has admitted telling lies about this episode in the past. But you know who else has been flapping their gums about this? Michael Cohen and Donald Trump. Between the two of them, they’ve put enough material in the public record out of their own lie-holes for us to know that Cohen put up the hush money for Daniels, days before a presidential election, and went to tremendous and almost certainly unethical (if not illegal) lengths to distance Trump from that payment.
  • Nazis killed millions of Jews. These people were executing a search warrant. Calm the [expletive deleted] down, people!

Do we know that there is a solid foundation of probable cause for this warrant? No. We haven’t read it. Without reading it, we can’t know.

But, taking the above bullet points into account, all signs point to yes.

And if you’re hellbent on assuming, without knowing any facts, that this is a Nazi move — the Gestapo in action; treason before our very eyes — then you’ve gone waaaaay off the rails. You’ve fallen for the propaganda. You’re willing to tar dozens of professionals as Deep State “traitors” based on the propaganda offered by an orange-haired clown and his soulless dunce confederates.

Now: let’s take a giant step backwards and raise a leg to pee on the left for a second.

Nothing here means Donald Trump necessarily committed a crime. It’s far likelier to conclude that a provable crime might be proved against Michael Cohen than Donald Trump.

None of this means there is evidence of collusion between Trump and the Russian government.

What is means is that numerous people in the executive and judicial branches of government thought there was probable cause to believe that evidence of a crime would be found in the office or residence of the President’s lawyer. And that they followed the path laid out in the United States Constitution to learn whether they were right.

Period. End of discussion.

Now calm down, and stop going full insane on the partisanship. Stop, wait, think, listen, and learn. Above all, stop. Stop yammering. Stop screaming that we live in Nazi Germany. You sound like idiots.

Just stop.

If Congress Isn’t Going to Defund Planned Parenthood, Then We Have to Do This Instead

Pro-life conservatives have been frustrated with the ongoing failure to defund Planned Parenthood, and for good reason. America’s largest abortion provider markets itself as a defender of “women’s health,” but performs zero mammograms, willfully covers up statutory rapes, and has had to pay multimillion dollar settlements for Medicaid billing fraud.

All while ending the lives of hundreds of thousands of unborn children for massive profits every year.

So when the latest omnibus spending bill passed with half a billion dollars of funding for Planned Parenthood intact, even with Republicans in control of the White House and both the House and the Senate, conservatives were enraged. And not just because omnibus bills happen because Congress is stupid.

Watching Republicans campaign as pro-life champions every election cycle and then continue to send half a billion freaking dollars — that’s five hundred million dollars, $500,000,000.00 — every year is extremely infuriating.

Now, I don’t believe that Congressional Republicans are secretly pro-choice and actually want to continue providing funding to abortion clinics. What’s far more likely is they are wary of the backlash from Democrats and the media, who would complain that those mean ol’ Republicans are heartlessly cutting medical care to poor women.

Fine. Here’s an easy solution.

Don’t defund the budget for Planned Parenthood. Transfer the money. 

Take all of the money we send to Planned Parenthood clinics, and instead, send the money to medical clinics that provide services to the poor.

Congress has proven they have little appetite for cutting spending, so fine, just take the money we are giving to these abortion clinics and instead, send it to other health clinics in the exact same towns. Dollar for dollar, take it from the abortion clinic and just send it down the street.

The communities will still have the exact same amount of federal funds coming their way, but the money will go much further since it will be going to actual health clinics, and not Planned Parenthood, with its lavish budgets for its political activity, lobbying, contributions to candidates, executives’ salaries and benefits, travel, and events — not to mention all those flashy advertisements, graphics, and videos all over their social media.

And let’s be very clear: there is an abundance of choices for where these funds could be sent.

Drafting the bill should be an open and bipartisan discussion. Members of Congress should take into consideration the clinics in their own districts that are providing excellent care to the needy in their communities. If the Democrats truly care about women’s health, they should participate in the debate and offer amendments with their suggestions.

Some ideas for qualifying for the funds could include accepting Medicaid patients, providing a certain percentage of services pro bono or at reduced costs, being in operation for a certain number of years to prove stability, providing comprehensive prenatal and gynecological health care, and so on.

A similar program was adopted in Texas in 2013. The state cut funding to abortion providers and created the “Healthy Texas Women” program, providing low-income women with birth control, family planning services, and other health care. A Daily Signal report called the program a success, with the state’s pregnancy rate remaining relatively stable and abortions dropping.

There was also a massive drop in Medicaid and contraceptive claims, which liberals attempted to frame as a negative, but a federal civil suit was brought against Planned Parenthood for Medicaid billing fraud from 2003 to 2009 and eventually settled for $4.3 million dollars. Plus, the enactment of Obamacare during this period meant that women with those policies were entitled to free contraception. In other words, when another government program provided contraception coverage and the fraud spigot was cut off, that made the number of claims go down, not women forgoing necessary medical care.

“The data belies the claim that Planned Parenthood was necessary to women’s health care in Texas,” said Casey Mattox, a senior legal counsel at Alliance Defending Freedom.

The Democrats say they care about women’s health care. The Republicans say they don’t want to send money to an abortion provider. Fine. This solution lets both parties do what they say they want to do. 

If we can’t get our Republican-controlled Congress to cut spending, let’s at least quit sending money to America’s largest abortion provider, and send it somewhere it can still help women.