I’m sure you know him, one of the richest guys in the state, and I’m sure you’ve seen his (infamous) commercials, including the one I’m talking about.
J.B. Pritzker, who is running for governor, is just meandering down the block (you should seriously watch it) when confronted by an interviewer.
Hey, J.B., what’s the first thing you did this morning?
I’m thinking shower, shave, make breakfast for the kids, or walk the dog.
But not J.B. He went to a parent-teacher conference for his son.
My parents when to all of my parent-teacher conferences when I was in elementary and middle school. Not one of them was ever first thing in the morning. But maybe J.B. gets up at 5 a.m.
But instead of following up on that incongruity, our intrepid interviewer asks another tough question: “All-time favorite television series?” She asks. I can’t tell you how much I wanted to ask Bruce Rauner or Dan McConchie this question, but contained myself.
J.B. answers “Gilligan’s Island” and “Walking Dead.” What a renaissance man. I would never have picked those, but I’d die for a TV special called “The Walking Dead visits Gilligan’s Island.”
But let’s move on. Best concert you’ve ever been to, J.B.? Steve Miller and the Eagles, he says.
OK, (when I’m not listening to country) my music taste is a bit older than J.B., but from his answer I think I can assume our musical history covers the same era. But, I wouldn’t pay to see those guys.
No Springsteen? No Allman Brothers? No Fleetwood Mac or Rod Stewart or Rolling Stones? J.B., you’ve got to get out more.
Then comes the question that is as close to the “favorite color” question as we can get. What is J.B.’s favorite season? He likes springtime.
I think that is rather odd for a Chicagoan, when there is nothing to do in springtime but hunker down in the cold and the rain, unless he goes to Daytona Beach in springtime. Maybe he saw Steve Miller at the Daytona Holiday Inn one night. After all, my parents saw Little Richard there and supposedly it was a pretty good show.
Finally comes the biggie, the question every candidate waits for because it is placed on a tee for J.B. to hit out of the park.
“In one sentence,” the interviewer asks, “why are you running for governor?”
J.B. doesn’t hesitate: “Because everything that I care about, and I think everything we care about, is under siege by Bruce Rauner and Donald Trump.”
And then he quickly adds: “I gotta go.”
I think the “I gotta go” is my favorite part of the whole ad. J.B. has time to answer questions about concerts, TV shows and favorite seasons, but when it comes to running the state of Illinois, he’s gotta go.
Nothing about the pension crisis, the budget crisis, the tax crisis, the education crisis, the innocent people getting shot every day in Chicago crisis (including kids sitting on their front stoop), people leaving in Illinois in droves crisis or the what kind of sandwich does Michael Madigan want crisis, and “he’s gotta go”.
And I’m supposed to vote for this guy? I still don’t know his favorite color.