Make Your Own Anti-Trump Rant Generator

It’s been one hundred and thirty five days since Donald J. Trump was inaugurated as president and the left has gotten enraged with just about anything, so I’ve made a (rather comedic and satirical) “Make Your Own Anti-Trump Rant Generator”:


Trying to keep up with President Trump’s shenanigans is exhausting! And on top of that, then you also have to find the energy to complain about it! Who has that time? Luckily, I’m stepping up in a yuge way and streamlining the whole process to you, with my “Make  Your Own Anti-Trump Rant Generator”:

Someone tell me how a guy with a track record of ______________

  1. spreading racist conspiracy theories
  2. misusing the phrase “on fleek”
  3. texting interns the eggplant emoji
  4. receiving two scoops of ice cream
  5. leaving Melania steaming floaters in the bathroom
  6. cheating at the game “Pie Face” with Barron

is our new President– even after he ______________!

  1. talked about dating his hot daughter
  2. coughed into his hand instead of his arm
  3. stiffed that Times Square Elmo on a tip
  4. vehemently defended Nickelback
  5. snuck snacks from home into a movie theater
  6. watched This is Us completely out of order

Worse still, with absolutely ZERO facts, he still claims ______________!

  1. there was widespread voter fraud
  2. Fuller House is superior to the original
  3. that his spicy guacamole is homemade and not store bought
  4. gravity is just a theory
  5. the Gremlins movies are documentaries
  6. Obama rigged his lottery scratch-offs

And to think he appointed ______________

  1. Steve Bannon
  2. Phil Swift, The “Flex Seal” Guy
  3. Amazon’s Alexa
  4. Billy Bush
  5. The former Verizon guy, now the Sprint guy
  6. Dick Cheney’s podiatrist

to be ______________!

  1. his top advisor
  2. People‘s Sexiest Man Alive
  3. Daniel Craig’s replacement as James Bond
  4. the new spokesperson for the Dollar Shave Club
  5. the Clooneys’ birthing coach
  6. James Corden’s new bandleader

If we don’t do something, we can say goodbye to ______________

  1. basic human rights
  2. quality Amish work
  3. any hope of reading a Game of Thrones book anytime soon
  4. those little wooden spoons you get with Italian ices or chocolate malt cups
  5. any chance of a Westworld parody happening
  6. Paul Blart Broadway musical

and prepare for four years of ______________!

  1. praying Mike Pence doesn’t become President
  2. lingering Olympic fever
  3. lackluster Kevin Hart vehicles
  4. jokes involving word “bigly” or “covfefe”
  5. disdain for cargo shorts
  6. increasingly confusing Oreo variations

I’m definitely going to protest at ______________ and

  1. Trump Tower
  2. the last remaining Radio Shack
  3. a Redbox kiosk
  4. participating Red Lobster locations
  5. the site of the Bowling Green massacre
  6. the Comedy Central roast of Mel Gibson

everyone there is going to ______________!

  1. wear a pink vagina hat
  2. eat cronuts and drink Unicorn Frappuccinos like they’re going out of style
  3. massage each others’ feet
  4. receive a participation award
  5. talk like a pirate
  6. quietly mourn the death of Vine
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