Man Who Identifies as 6-year-old Dominates CrossFit Kids Class (Satire)

Local CrossFit enthusiast Anthony Neff walked out of his local CrossFit affiliate with a smile on his face after his 4pm class on Tuesday. He had just dominated another workout, not only setting a personal record in the snatch, but besting the next strongest athlete in the class by over 185 pounds.

Neff, who works as a sales associate at Target, was born in 1983 but is currently transitioning to a birth year of 2011. He is the first transaged individual to participate in his gym’s CrossFit Kids program.

“I wouldn’t be here today if it weren’t for everyone who has been supporting my transition,” Neff told The Associated Press as he boosted a fellow athlete up to the gym’s water fountain to help him take a drink. “Science has come a long way in recognizing that age isn’t just a matter of how old you are. ”

Neff began to publicly identify as a six-year-old three years ago, but didn’t tell his wife Angela until months later.

“Anthony has always been a little immature, but I thought he would grow out of it,” She explained. But over time, Angela noticed her husband playing with toy trucks instead of going to work, watching hours of Octonauts, and laughing at the words like ‘poop’ and ‘booger.’

“This is who he is, and celebrating that is more important than pressing him to conform to reality.”

The change hasn’t been easy, but Neff says he’s been treated “well and kind” at his affiliate. “The coaches are all very supportive,” he said. His treatment has included increased growth hormones to match the levels found in the bodies of growing children.

“If he has been taking hormones, or steroids, he should be training and competing against actual children,” said Melissa Jones, mother of one of the other children in Neff’s CrossFit Kids class.

Jones is not alone in her concerns, but Neff’s coach, Travis Miller disagrees.

“I asked him if he thought the growth hormones were giving him an unfair advantage against the other children in the class,” Miller told the Associated Press. “He looked right at me and said he ‘didn’t identify’ as someone who was taking growth hormones. What kind of hateful bigot would question that logic?”

At time of press, Neff was consuming a bowl of Fruit Loops and looking forward to a CrossFit Kids session consisting of front-squats and a game of burpee dodgeball.

“All I know is when I get the ball everybody on the other side better watch out.”

Calm Down Democrats, The Holy Grail of a Trump Crime Remains Missing

What has really happened since Donald Trump Jr. released his email chain setting up a meeting last June with a Russian lawyer? Are Democrats and their allies in the media any closer to having their high crime or misdemeanor?

Answer: No.

As Harvard law professor Alan Dershowitz stated on July 11,

“It is unlikely that attendance at the meeting violated any criminal statute.”

Well said, Mr. Dershowitz.

And yet, the media would have you believe that the meeting Trump Jr. described as “literally just a wasted twenty minutes” is a smoking gun that will inevitably take President Trump, his administration, and his entire family down forever.

In reality, Trump Jr.’s emails show he has nothing to hide.

Further to this point, Trump Jr. recently went on “Hannity” to speak specifically about his actions. Granted, Fox News host Sean Hannity is not always interested in giving a complete, unvarnished account of what happens in Trump World and his questions are softballs, but Trump Jr. made some important points nonetheless– namely, the fact that there was no subsequent follow-up contact with the Russian lawyer and “nothing to tell” then-candidate Trump. Therefore, unless you decide to believe he is lying, there was no “collusion.” The holy grail is still missing.

I don’t think Trump Jr. went on national television and told a bunch of lies. Undoubtedly, the president’s enemies will believe that they are justified in feeling otherwise. But Trump Jr. has little incentive to do anything but tell the truth at this point.

Even if we suppose there was a follow-up from the campaign with the Russian lawyer, it is hard to say that more conversations or meetings would have amounted to a crime. And yes, something can be wrong but not illegal. However, that is not the argument Democrats and their allies in the media want to make. They want this to crack the foundation of the Trump presidency. They want it to crumble.

Blinded by disdain for the president, liberals are the media are mostly trying to create credibility for accusations of criminal violations and impeachable offenses. They embellish everything just so that they can keep the story moving. Maybe they will get a break and someone will stumble into a crime during the investigation into the non-crimes from the fall campaign.

In their search for a nonexistent smoking gun, Trump’s opponents appear at least partially satisfied by the constant hounding of the White House and the president’s family.

In politics, being innocent is just an advantage. It is not determinative. And although the fact’s do not support the left’s pursuit of criminal wrongdoing on the part of the Trump family, Trump Jr. is sure to face a lot of harassment, and he may make more “mistakes.” But that is far from being in the crosshairs of an American law enforcement investigation that could bring down a president. Sorry to the Trump haters for being such a buzzkill.

If Trump Jr. is guilty of anything, it is letting someone so lacking credibility have unfettered access to his schedule. Danger. You usually see your enemies coming, but it is your friends who will blindside you and get you in trouble.

Anyway, Trump’s enemies are desperate for something impeachable. But remember, there is no such thing as the crime of collusion. It’s not even a misdemeanor. And unless the Russian lawyer provided an illegal contribution, stolen probably, etc., to the Trump campaign, there is no crime that will take this story where the media want it to go. But that doesn’t mean they will quit trying.

My Reaction to the “Smoking Gun” of Don Jr.’s Meeting

I don’t care. I honestly don’t care. The more alarmed the press becomes, the more I believe America is becoming exhausted. These stories are becoming so intense and so over-the-top. The press is so interested in re-litagating the past, instead of the future. We know as Americans, it is not about collusion, it is about settling the score. I would also think some conservatives and Republicans might do the same thing, because we’d be angry over an election, but at some point, you have to let it go. I could redefine “collusion” as collusion between media, academia, and the entertainment industry who have been trying to brainwash us for the decades over the dumbest ideologies. We’ve all been victims of “collusions” of our lives. The narrative here is that the Trump presidency is in disarray: that’s what we know because that’s what we the people elected. We are okay with disarray, we elected someone because they don’t have any experience in politics; therefore, President Trump is surrounded by people who are not as adapted to controlling the narrative. Maybe that’s their fault, and he should have known better, but the bottom line is this: if you didn’t want this to happen, you could have had a Kasich or a Rubio, but you wouldn’t have this Trump “phenomenon/revolution” in the polling booths. We elected a bunch of outsiders, so there isn’t a bug in the system, this is the system and we (and the media) just have to deal with it and get over it. And the hyperventilation on the other networks is insane. Have you seen them recently? I worry about their health.

Heres a dumb question: How come a citizen cannot engage in a practice that a reporter can? A reporter can go to a meeting and he gets some information and he becomes a whistleblower, a hero (i.e. the Pentagon Papers and Snowden). But Donald Trump Jr., who is a citizen, not involved directly in a campaign, does it and it called collusion, but when in fact if he had found something, Trump Jr. could have been our Chelsea Manning, a hero.

The issue is that some liberals can’t grasp the idea that no matter what happens, Hillary Clinton can’t win the 2016 presidential election, it is completely impossible. Even if some evidence magically appears that the Trump campaign colluded with the Russians, Ms. Clinton would not be in the White House.

So here’s the big question of the day: What’s the point in bringing up all of these collusion stories and over-analyzing and over-investigating? To get President Trump removed from office? Are these liberals really going to be satisfied with a more (from an ideology standpoint) conservative President Pence? The answer is probably not. So then, some liberals say that they don’t want Trump impeached, all they want to show is how ignorant Trump and his administration are. So here’s the rewritten big question of the day: What does showing President Trump’s “ignorance” accomplish? The only answer that I can think of is more polarized, divided nation.

What I’ve Noticed From Our Leftist “Friends”

Ever since I’ve been interested in politics, I’ve always been involved in debate with others on the left side of the aisle. I have gained experience with debating liberals inside the classroom (teachers and my fellow students), in conservations (in person or via text message), and in Illinois’s capitol (for my state senator’s youth advisory council). Here at some of the things that I have noticed with our leftist “friends”:


Isn’t it interesting how liberals only cite science, the Constitution, or the Bible when it works in their favor? Science is crucial and unquestionable when it comes to subjects like climate change, but it is secondary, biased, and unmentionable when it comes to abortion and gender.

The Constitution is helpful when they can cite the fourteenth amendment to justify their pro-choice doctrine, but it is inconvenient and wrong when it comes to gun control and free speech.

Bible verses are great taken out of context to try to guilt people out of advocating for a wall or a travel ban, but when the Bible is used as a foundation for any conservative position, it’s bigoted and antiquated.

That’s because, in general, modern-day liberalism has moved away from the realm of science and reason and into the realm of emotion and subjectivity. It’s become a religion of sorts, in which everyone must believe or else you are condemned as a rudimentary cretin subject to public disdain. Science is something to be manipulated to fit an agenda.

According to the left, the founding documents are mostly irrelevant manuscripts infested with white patriarchy only to be used when politically expedient; and the Bible is a sexist, racist compilation of fictional stories decontextualized then cited exclusively to guilt other people into believing your side. Truth, to the left, is both relative and absolute– it’s relative within the realm of what they believe to be absolutely true. And if you believe anything outside that realm– then you are not just incorrect, but you are a bad person and on the wrong side of history. Which is exactly why we are seeing such cruel, bitter criticism and violence in this so-called “resistance”– they see themselves as moral vigilantes– vigilantes for the earth, for rights, for equality, for “tolerance,”– fighting against the evil this is Donald Trump and conservatism. And it is extremely difficult to reason with a group of people who are both politically and religiously motivated to take down what the wrongly believe to be the “darkness.”

So, what do we do? Well, the solution is not easy– but it is simple: all we can do is keep speaking the truth (the whole truth, and nothing but the truth), stay in the lane of logic and reason, and hold fast to the values of liberty and justice that make America great.

Have a conservative day!

-The Reagan Conservative 🇺🇸

What are Illinois Taxpayers Getting for Sending Another $5 Billion to Springfield?

Now, I usually do not write that much about state politics, I usually focus on the nation as a whole; but as a resident of Illinois, I feel a need to write something regarding the newly passed budget.

 

Finalizing a thirty two percent income tax hike, the Illinois House on Thursday approved a budget for the fiscal year that began July 1. Illinois taxpayers will begin paying a 4.95 percent individual income rate, up from 3.75 percent, retroactive to July 1.

What are taxpayers getting for sending another $5 billion to Springfield?

Business as usual.

You might think that Democratic legislators — for fourteen years the primary architects of a financial fiasco that has created enormous taxpayer debts — would acquiesce on pro-growth economic reforms that our neighboring states have adopted.

You might think the majority party would listen to large and small business owners about the urgent need for more reasonable workers’ compensation insurance costs.

You might think Democrats would have advanced another pension reform bill or created a lower-cost, defined contribution plan for new employees, or attempted to change the Illinois Constitution’s crushing pension obligation language.

You might think they would have been alarmed at the exodus of residents escaping to states with lower taxes, far fewer debt obligations and less dysfunction.

You might think Democrats would have agreed to a property tax freeze.

And on every count, you’d be wrong. The budget that Democrats crafted and that more than a dozen Republicans supported includes minor changes to the woefully underfunded pension system and yes, wide-ranging across-the-board spending cuts. It includes $350 million in new education money — provided Governor Bruce Rauner signs a separate school funding bill that revamps the way the state partially funds K-12 education.

But this budget, like those Democrats advanced for the past two decades, also spends taxpayer money on untested, unproven programs. It includes money for pork projects (the appropriation of government spending for localized projects secured solely or primarily to bring money to a representative’s district). It includes money for a clouted downstate shooting complex. It includes money for state fairs, fisheries, diversity programs, agriculture studies, and $330,500 above Rauner’s requested amount for Choose Chicago, the city’s public-private economic development arm that doesn’t make its spending public.

What the budget agreement doesn’t do is adopt the sensible, pro-growth reforms Rauner championed as a candidate and during his two and a half years in office. No meaningful workers’ comp changes. No property tax freeze. No major downsizing of the state’s 7,000 units of government. No votes — that’s all Rauner requested — on redistricting reform or term limits to rebuild trust in government.

And while Democratic sponsors said the spending plan should start paying down a backlog of bills and reduce costs in the pension system, rating agencies that monitor state finances weren’t convinced. Moody’s Investors Service cited the state’s crippling debt — again, taxpayers’ crippling debt — as reason to potentially drop Illinois’ bond rating to junk.

The Democrats passed a massive tax hike without addressing their addictive spending that is the root of the debt problem, and they did not adopt pro-growth reforms to get Illinois’ economy humming.

The Illinois taxpayers wish they could say the additional income we’ll be forking over will be the tourniquet that saves Illinois’ failing government and flailing economy.

We can’t say that. The money, we’re afraid, will merely chase debt that, despite this revenue, keeps rising.

A thirty two percent tax hike should have been directly linked to a major overhaul of the way Springfield does business. That was the intent of the original Senate negotiations on a grand bargain, which this page supported.

But Rauner, unfortunately, collapsed those talks. Many Democrats saw an escape route and took it. Trust evaporated. True compromise didn’t happen. Instead, a tax hike that makes Illinois even more unappealing for employers and other citizens.

Welcome to the new Illinois. Same as the old Illinois. Except thirty two percent pricier.

Fourth of July Message

My one of my main men, Bill O’Reilly, posted this on his website, and I thought it would also be a great idea to share it with all of you too:

We Pledge to you an Honest Presentation

A new Gallup poll says just 27 percent of Americans trust newspapers and 24 percent have confidence in TV news.
Those numbers are actually up a bit from the recent past, if you can believe it.  The reason for the slight improvement is some Trump-hating Americans are satisfied that the press despises the president as well.
The distrust of the media is both good and bad.  Above all, the national media no longer seeks the truth and the folks know it.  Ideology and money now drive news coverage.  The mission to bring facts to the populace has vanished.
The fact that many Americans understand this – is a good thing.
The big downside of distrusting the press is cynicism.  No longer can we make decisions based upon information we are confident about.  Now, we have to seek out individuals for perspective.  Some of those people are honest, many are not.
As we approach Independence Day, it is a shame that the American press has fallen apart.  The Founders would be sad to see that.  They wanted an honest press to protect Americans from powerful people who might harm them.
We on this website pledge to you an honest presentation.  And we wish you a great July 4th.
I would also like to wish all of you a great, smart, fun, safe, and conservative July 4th, as we celebrate this great country that we all live in. May God bless our President and may God bless this great country.
Have a conservative day,
The Reagan Conservative 🇺🇸

Why Do They Keep Losing? (the Democrats, I mean)

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Despite spending millions and millions of dollars, the Democrats still lost in Georgia’s 6th District.

You could see the pain on their faces: they thought they had this one.

But they didn’t.

Here’s why.

Let’s return to the shooting of Steve Scalise – or rather, the liberal reaction to it.

On MSNBC, and its twin sister, the campus lounge – we saw a ghoulish reiteration of one sad take:  the shooting wasn’t entirely unjustified. In fact, given Scalise’s voting record, it all makes sense!  Joy Reid rushed to point out the victim’s past, Hollywood trolls like George Takei echoed her assumptions, and a Connecticut professor actually thought it a mistake that a black officer helped save white people’s lives.

Johnny Eric Williams, a sociology professor from Trinity College, posted on Facebook a number of declarations, including that blacks shouldn’t help white people when they’re in danger. As Campus Reform reports, he wrote, “The time is now to confront these inhuman a**holes and end this now.” He was referring to whites.

How does this relate to the election? Good question. I’m getting there.

Such harmful and destructive comments do not impact the election directly, but create a detour from a winning strategy. Imagine you’re driving to work, and your car decides, independently, to go in the wrong direction, taking you further and further away from your destination.  For Democrats, that car is identity politics, and it’s taking their party further and further from a place where they might still resonate with the rest of America.

It’s steering the party down a destructive path that makes any correction or improvement impossible.

Today, more people are seeing the wrath of identity politics up close. It’s getting more coverage, and receiving more mockery.  Take for example, the identity cultists at Evergreen College who ran a professor out of town because he objected to their acceptable anti-Caucasian racism. Even liberals were shaken up by this. For a laugh, google “President of Evergreen College George Sumner Bridges” and click on the videos of him kowtowing to students – some of whom held him captive during the ordeal, even accompanying him to the bathroom.

Identity activists pretend to seek rights for the “collective,” but each day they become more like hardened fascists who desire a race and/or religion war.

The destructive impulse of young so-called minds is a tedious, immature one, which is why it’s so disgusting to see academics indulging it.  Instead of challenging the unformed and uninformed minds, teachers feed into their hysterical, unbending desires, resulting in a new world where life experience takes a back seat to identity.

The campus is now a place where the wisdom of a man or woman with a decade of military experience, plus another decade in the work world, takes a back seat to the infantile blathering of a 17-year-old with a nose ring. A self-indulgent whiner with no real challenges in life gets more respect than people who make things, defend things, value things.

In normal life, if a college freshman rejected civil discourse, got in your face and told you to shut up, he would be suspended, perhaps expelled. Now they are applauded, and allowed to harass another day. The campuses are under new management: the mob.

Because campus administrators have long ago abdicated their responsibilities in challenging bad ideas, those bad ideas graduate along with the students, spilling into the real world. The graduate, still angry and self-obsessed, can do nothing but spout bumper sticker slogans and blame everyone for everything.

No one will hire that.

So, their only refuge is either to return to school, or to enter political activism as a vocation – and perpetuate their non-productivity. As a result, campuses and political bodies become even more strident and intolerant, infecting all.

Which is why the Democratic Party is in trouble. For the last four decades they’ve bought the myth that America is the actual problem, and that the solution is to replace a single identity (American), with hundreds of sparring tribes. Now they must feed those tribes.

So when a party stands for nothing but envy, anger and retribution – how long before people decide it’s enough? If the Democratic Party were an actual party, their punch bowl has been spiked with rat poison.  Until they drain that bowl, the party’s candidates will continue to drop like flies.