CDC: People With Dirt On Clintons Have 834% Greater Risk Of Suicide (Satire)

ATLANTA, GA – According to a report from the Centers for Disease Control released on Thursday, people with inside, compromising knowledge of Bill and Hillary Clinton’s financial and political dealings are 834% more likely to commit suicide.

“We’ve never seen a single risk factor cause a spike of this magnitude,” a CDC spokesperson told reporters. “Interestingly, in spite of their increased suicide risk, people with dirt on the Clintons rarely show any warning signs of suicide, and they never leave a suicide note.”

Remarking about how abnormal it is, the spokesman again stressed the significance of the data.

“Therefore, we advise any American with detrimental information about Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, or the Clinton Foundation to forget about it as quickly as possible to avoid a greatly increased probability of taking your own life,” he cautioned.

“And—I swear—that’s all we know.”


Disclaimer: The above story is satire. It is completely fictitious.

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Top CNN Anonymous Sources Revealed To Be Local Baristas (Satire)

ATLANTA, GA–An investigative report revealed Thursday that CNN’s top anonymous sources, who have leaked several high-profile stories in recent months, are actually baristas named Betty and Ed who work at a local Atlanta coffee shop frequented by network staff.

Several CNN reporters were seen over the last several months entering the cafe to get “the best latte in town,” and also hung around with Betty or Ed to see what new information they had picked up recently on any of the week’s hot-button political issues.

“They have been revealing all kinds of shocking pieces of information to their coffee shop customers,” one reporter said Thursday as the story broke. “The talented baristas quickly became one of CNN’s most prominent sources of information as they utilized hard-hitting journalistic methods.”

Betty and Ed also reportedly have an encyclopedic knowledge of dozens of different types of coffee drinks served at the coffee shop, in addition to their juicy tidbits of information about the Trump administration.

At publishing time, sources had confirmed that Betty and Ed also managed to get several CNN contacts to sign up for a cafe rewards card during their secret meetings.


Disclaimer: The above story is satire. It is completely fictitious.

Another Shooting Massacre

Another day, another massacre. The outrage in southern Texas is revolting and affects all Americans because it puts this country in such a bad light. People all over the world over think we are a violent society where guns are sacred and not even church goers are safe. The truth, of course, is far different. The violent crime rate in the USA has fallen to near historic lows. Yet, we continue to see evil individuals commit horrifying acts – taking the lives of innocent human beings.

After the massacre in Vegas, I said that horrendous crimes are the cost of freedom. Immediately, the dimwits on the far left started whinnying. Predictable from a crew that thinks banning guns will stop carnage.

(An unfortunate) news flash: psychopaths (and I guess terrorists too) will always be able to secure weapons no matter what legislation is passed. The black market will always exist. As I’ve said before, legislation will make us feel better about ourselves, but I’m skeptical in their effectiveness. (But I think we ought to give it try, though).

My freedom comment is simply this:  troubled people have individual rights. Authorities cannot restrain you until you break the law. Privacy entitlements prevent the public from finding out your mental state. No matter how bizarre a life you lead, you cannot be sanctioned by criminal authority unless you violate a statute.

In non-free societies, individuals can be taken into custody for almost any reason. Not in America.

In Response To Mounting Criticism, President Trump Comes Out As Gay (Satire)

WASHINGTON, D.C.—In what is being perceived as a possible attempt to deflect months of declining poll results and mounting criticism over his policies, inappropriate behavior, and investigations into possible corruption in his presidential campaign, President Trump came out as gay Monday morning.

“I owe you all the sincerest apology for my deeply inappropriate, deranged behavior, and I am sorry for the sense of dread you have all been forced to live with these past ten months,” President Trump said during a solemn video address as he choked back tears.

“I choose now to live as a gay man,” he announced, causing the camera crew to break out in applause.

Immediately after the announcement, Trump’s poll numbers skyrocketed, with unprecedented support for his policies erupting throughout the nation and media as the news broke. Trump’s all-time low approval rating of 38% almost instantaneously exploded to 97%, while the vast majority of his outspoken critics on the left voiced their support for his courage and bravery.

Furthermore, the shrewd political move of coming out as gay ended federal investigations into Russian influence on the 2016 election, with FBI special investigator Robert Mueller apologizing for ever looking into the matter.


Disclaimer: The above story is satire. It is completely fictitious.

Terror in New York City and the Diversity Visa Lottery

Two days ago, Sayfullo Habibullaevic Saipov rammed a rented truck into more than twenty New Yorkers, while screaming “allahu akbar.” Eight people were murdered and the country is once again asking the simple question: “Why?” But the answer this time is obvious: those eight people are martyrs to a diversity cult, worshipped by the ruling class. Saipov was an Islamic radical from Uzbekistan, who worked as an Uber drive. He was not a physician or an exceptional scientific mind or a business magnet; he was doing a job literally anybody could do. In a country, where we have to this day, a severe shortage of low skilled jobs for the poor in our working class. Why was this man even in our country? Well he was here because this country’s leaders have decided that diversity, in of it, itself, is a greater importance than the wellbeing of this country’s people. That is the truth.

Saipov was admitted to the United States under the so called “diversity lottery”, something you’ve (including myself) likely never heard of before, until today. The diversity lottery was created a long time ago, back in 1990, it offers immigration visa to fifty thousand people every year. Winners are chosen randomly among applicants from countries who have not sent many immigrants to the United States in the past five years. Those immigrants do not have to know English, they do not have to know any skills of any kind; all they need is a high school education or at least two years of experience in certain work fields. They do not need family here in the United States, though once they have been admitted, they are of course allowed to sponsor others to follow suit (it is called chain migration).

Now supposedly, immigrants admitted through the diversity lottery must show that they are nonthreatening and able to support themselves, but we know that is a joke. Our leaders are not even willing to deport criminal gang members who are here illegally. Once when you have arrived in this country, it is almost impossible to get thrown out.

But before getting caught up in all of the depressing details around this, consider the absurdity of the entire system. Diversity lottery? America is not a game show or a mail-in sweepstakes. It is a country. And our government is supposed to represent the interests of the people in this country. Instead, our leaders are treating America as a prize that can be won by anyone on the planet simply for existing. Want to sell diversity scratch-off tickets in convenience stores in Baku, Tashkent, or Ashgabat? It is insane. The whole thing is insane. How do you know that it is insane? Because the very liberals now defending this diversity lottery, and calling you a bigot for raising questions about it, would never in a million years practice a diversity lottery themselves. Would Harvard implement a diversity lottery for admissions? Of course they would not. Harvard wants to be selective and only admit the best. They would never just pick one hundred random applicants based on country of origin without bothering to check their grades or test scores, no way. Do you think Google, Facebook, or MSNBC would hire with a diversity lottery? Just pick people at random without even reading their resumes? Please. Did President Obama hold a diversity lottery when he made judicial appointments? Does the military hold a lottery for promoting officers? No, no, no, no, no. Of course not. Because in all of those organizations, it is obvious that quality matters. You want to pick the best people and allow the organization to flourish.

So how though, and this is the most perverse of all of this, the greatest organization of all, the United States, has decided that quality is irrelevant. Diversity has become an end in itself.

Who’s responsible for this? Well, it is not a partisan project. Leaders in both parties decided a diversity lottery sounded like a great idea. Senator Chucky Schumer of New York introduced the 1990 bill, creating this visa system when he was still in the House of Representatives. In 2006, he could tell that the diversity lottery was working perfectly because he could see immigrants while riding his bike.

“This is an excellent program. And nobody has said that it’s done a bad job. It’s small. There are only about fifty thousand visas a year. As I ride my bike around New York City on the weekends, I see what immigrants do for America. And this program has dramatically helped.”- SEN. CHUCK SCHUMER, D-N.Y. ON THE SENATE FLOOR MAY 24TH, 2006

Now, ironies of ironies, bicyclists have themselves become targets of an extremist whose admitted into the country thanks to Schumer’s grand vision, an “excellent program.” So “excellent” in fact, in 2009, congresswoman Shelia Jackson Lee of Texas, lobbied to double the number of diversity lottery visas to one hundred thousand. The only surprise is that she did not ask for five hundred thousand or one million. Why not? “Diversity is our strength”, right?

But republicans, to be fair, played their part as well (a lot of them). Five Senate republicans, still office today, voted for the law that created the diversity lottery. They are Thad Cochran of Mississippi, John McCain of Arizona, Orrin Hatch of Utah, Chuck Grassley of Iowa, and now majority leader Mitch McConnell of Kentucky. Cochran, McCain, and Grassely all say that they want the diversity lottery abolished. Will the rest come around? We’ll be watching.

What about the Democrats? Congress is, of course, hopelessly divided on immigration, but we could at least unite on the principle that immigrants ought to be chosen because they can benefit this country. You would think that would be an easy one. Many lawmakers would deflect if you asked them. They say they want the program ended as part of what they are calling “comprehensive immigration reform”. But there’s no need for that. It’s an excuse offered by lawmakers to do nothing as they have done for decades. Congress could in fact end the program tomorrow without touching any other part of the immigration system. If Congress actually cared about the well-being of this country they would of course do that. But sadly it seems unlikely any of this is going to happen. Why? You know why.

The truth is our ruling class prefers immigrants to Americans. They don’t say that out loud, they don’t need to say it out loud. Watch how they act. Who are they more worried about? The so-called dreamers here illegally, or the sixty thousand American citizens who died of drug over doses last year? It’s not even close.

Our elites see Americans as beyond hope and worse than that, dangerous. Just this week, you watched an ad in the Virginia governor’s race premised on the notion that the biggest threat to this country is pickup-driving Trump voters who want to run over Muslim children. Even though, if you want to get factual about it, in a country with sixty three million Trump voters, that has never happened.

Meanwhile, an Islamic extremist literally just ran over people with a truck. Yet authorities, as they always do raced to treat that as an isolated incident, a lone wolf attack with no implications for American policy. Are our leaders lying to us? Are they blind? Both, probably.

Diversity is their religion. And in their own way, they’re religious extremists. When the safety and well-being of Americans conflicts with their faith, they will choose their faith every time.

On the Manafort Indictment and More On the Real Russian Scandal

So obviously this post is about the Manafort indictment and Russia, and I wrote a ton, because I feel extremely passionate about this topic. I wrote this not to defend President Trump, but to defend the country against completely biased coverage of the news. I recognize that some of my points that I made in this post are complete speculation and are more assumptions that could be entirely incorrect, in which I have denoted those speculations with a disclaimer after the period of that specific assumption. Enjoy my analysis on this situation.


It was announced yesterday that Paul Manafort, well, something that was pretty much expected after his home was raided by the FBI, was indicted today. It’s a thirty one page indictment. It discussed charges of conspiracy against the United States, laundering money, failure to file reports of foreign bank and financial accounts, unregistered agent of a foreign principal, and making false and misleading FARA statements.

But interestingly, because this is a special counsel that was supposed to investigate Trump-Russia collusion, this indictment has nothing. Let me repeat, nothing to do with Trump-Russia collusion. Zero. Zip. Zilch. Nada. The most spectacular finding within the Manafort indictment is this: In regards to the financial issues, the last year of any financial transaction was 2014. The years they were looking at was between 2008 and 2014. And as far as we know, Trump wasn’t even thinking of running for president in 2014. So, in other words, nothing of the Paul Manafort indictment had anything to do with the Trump campaign or Donald Trump.

Is this all Mueller has? Because, if it is, it’s pathetic. Another day, another example after a year (investigations have been going on for a year with congressional committees and intelligence agencies well before Mueller’s special counsel was commissioned in May 2017) of speculation, no evidence of any collusion between President Trump and Russia.

Now, there’s a saying that goes like “you can indict a ham sandwich”. In case you do not know, for grand juries, only the prosecution gets to present evidence. The defense gets zero opportunity whatsoever to present their case. The legal standard before a grand jury is much lower. They must be convinced probable cause, but in a court of law. The criminal standard is a jury of your peers beyond a reasonable doubt, a massive distinction.

And it’s important to point out that this grand jury was impaneled in Washington, D.C. Let’s see, one of the most liberal cities in America where over 90 percent of the people there voted for Hillary Clinton. Honestly I believe that Manafort was indicted fairly, but that is always something to think about.

Now, here’s what Paul Manafort’s attorney said yesterday, for the first time they speak out.

“President Donald Trump was correct. There is no evidence that Mr. Manafort or the Trump campaign colluded with the Russian government.

Today, you see an indictment brought by an office of special counsel that is using a very novel theory to prosecute Mr. Manafort regarding a FARA filing. The United States government has only used that offense six times since 1966 and only resulted in one conviction.”- KEVIN DOWNING, PAUL MANAFORT’S ATTORNEY

Six times since 1966, one conviction. So like every American, Paul Manafort, he deserves what we all deserve, the presumption of innocence. However, he is being tried tonight and convicted in the court of public opinion by what is an abusively biased Trump hating media. Now, I am not defending Manafort if he did commit all of those crimes, then he is a criminal and deserves to go to jail, but this means absolutely nothing for the Trump campaign.

Also, as part of the news that came out today, twenty nine year old, George Papadopoulos admitted that he lied to the FBI. The White House says he was a volunteer, and it seems that Papadopoulos, on his own, was trying to create an anti-Clinton Russian dossier like the Fusion GPS-Hillary-DNC-President Obama-funded dossier and he was not successful.

So now that we have no Trump collusion, here’s what we do have. This is what the media will ignore. This is what matters. These are the facts. This is where the evidence comes in. What did President Clinton or Hillary, President Obama, and key members of the Obama administration know about the Uranium One scandal?

Now, we’re learning about how the Obama administration officials, they knew in 2009 that Vladimir Putin was using bribes, extortion, kickbacks, money laundering, and racketeering all within this country, spies within this country, and nothing was done to stop it. There is incontrovertible evidence that all involved tried to cover this up. They put a gag order on the one FBI informant that knew everything to prevent the truth from getting out. Now it’s getting out.

There is incontrovertible evidence that the Clintons benefited in a massive, huge, financial way because of this corrupt Uranium One deal. We know Bill Clinton doubled his speaking fees in Moscow while giving a speech to a bank that interestingly enough, had a financial interest in Uranium One. Bill Clinton also tried to get State Department permission, his wife’s State Department, to meet with Russian nuclear officials during the time of the Uranium One deal and he eventually ended up sitting down with Vladimir Putin himself.

And as the author Peter Schweizer writes about in his best-selling book, “Clinton Cash,” the Clinton Foundation got $145 million in kickbacks from people that directly benefited from that deal. There is incontrovertible evidence that Putin and his spies and his thugs were actually successful because he eventually got 20 percent of America’s uranium, the foundational material for nuclear weapons.

This is beyond insanity and it’s inexcusable. Hillary Clinton, Bill Clinton, the Obama administration, allowed our national security to be compromised in what is an unprecedented way and few in the media will touch this story. Major crimes were committed. They knew about it. They did nothing before the deal.

Now, here’s a simple question. I (and we as Americans) have to ask it. Why on earth would President Obama or Hillary or Eric Holder ever sign off on giving Russia, a known enemy, Putin, a bad actor, 20 percent control of our uranium? What did America get? What did Obama get from this Uranium One deal? It never made sense.

Now, there is also incontrovertible evidence that the Clinton campaign and the DNC, they paid Fusion GPS over $9 million –although “nobody knows anything” — and they hired a former British intelligence agent who then used current and former Russian government sources to produce this phony news dossier that was full of lies and disinformation against Donald Trump.

In other words, Clinton and the DNC funded the money to spread Russian lies and influence the election. They did it all because it is the very thing they are now accusing President Trump and his campaign of doing, they did it themselves.

And we just found out this weekend, this new report from the Federalist, the headline, “Obama’s campaign paid $972,000 to the law firm that secretly paid Fusion GPS in 2016.” Wow! The same firm that the Clinton campaign, the DNC used to pay Fusion GPS to create the fake news propaganda, anti-Trump dossier that they then regurgitated all over TV.

Now, we also have Robert Mueller and his band of big Democratic donors that work for him now, supposedly investigating Trump-Russia collusion. And as I predicted there is still no evidence that’s this ever happened. None.

Now former, current, and top Democrats have all said the same thing. Smoke, but no fire. Smoke, but no fire.

“Well, there is an awful lot of smoke there let’s put it that way, people that might have said they were involved. To what extent they were involved. To what extent the President might have known about these people or whatever, there is nothing there from that standpoint that we have seen directly linking our president to any of that.”- SEN. JOE MANCHIN, D-W.VA ON CBS’ “FACE THE NATION”, MAY 7

 
“The last time we spoke, Senator, I asked you if you had actually seen evidence of collusion between the Trump campaign and the Russians and you said to me, and I’m quoting you now. You said, “not at this time.” Has anything changed since we spoke last?”- WOLF BLITZER, CNN, MAY 18

“Well, not — no, it hasn’t.”-SEN. DIANNE FEINSTEIN, D-CALIF.

 

“I know we need to go soon but just to be clear, there has been no actual evidence yet.”-UNIDENTIFIED MALE, MSNBC, MAY 18

“No, it has not been. No, it has not been.”-REP. MAXINE WATERS, D-CALIF.

 

“By the time I left, I did not see any smoking gun certitude evidence of collusion.”-JAMES CLAPPER, FORMER DIRECTOR OF NATIONAL INTELLIGENCE, ON NBC’S “MEET THE PRESS”, MAY 28

 

“Is there any evidence of collusion that you have seen yet? Is there?”-JAKE TAPPER, CNN, JUNE 4

“There is a lot of smoke. We have no smoking gun at this point.”-SEN. MARK WARNER, D-VA.

No smoking gun. Today, still no smoking gun. And our lying media in this country would have all of you believe the indictment of Paul Manafort and his associate Rick Gates has everything to do with Trump-Russia collusion. It has nothing to do with it. Here’s the truth. Nothing. Now, none of that is related to President Trump. None of it. Zero is related to his campaign. And the vast majority of these allegations all happen before Paul Manafort ever worked for the Trump campaign.

And also today, the issue of Robert Mueller attempting to change the narrative to distract from the real Russia collusion and massive cover-ups. Don’t think this is a coincidence. Last week, America had a stunning revelation about Hillary Clinton, Uranium One, the false dossier and that special counsel Mueller is clearly complicit in the Uranium One scandal. Remember, he was the FBI director. The FBI informant had all the evidence of bribes and kickbacks and money laundering and he did nothing. So now they need to change the narrative after a very bad week and distract the country from their evidence and their involvement in possible collusion. (Of course that is just me speculating, and could very well be incorrect.)

And, by the way, Mr. Mueller, who leaked the indictments to CNN? Was it you? Manafort’s team did not know this was coming. So somebody disclosed this information. That is a crime, Mr. Mueller. You should know this. And by the way, anybody from the grand jury, it’s a simple crime. Who did it? Did anyone, Mr. Mueller, in your office do it? (Again, more speculation from myself, but at least I admit that I could very well be extremely incorrect.)

Now, while liberals in the media are hysterical, absolutely beside themselves with giddiness, thinking this is the big smoking gun about Paul Manafort, there is another major shoe dropping in these major Democratic scandals.

Now, what about Tony Podesta? He is the brother of former Clinton campaign manager John Podesta. And according to Politico, Tony Podesta is now stepping down from his lobbying group because he is being investigated by the special counsel. And as we have now been reporting, the probe into Tony Podesta and his lobbying group came about after Mueller started looking into Manafort’s finances. NBC News even pointed out that Podesta’s group worked on Manafort on a public relations campaign called European Center for a modern Ukraine.

And NBC News even adds that Mueller could be looking into whether Podesta and his company violated what’s known as FARA, the Foreign Agent’s Registration Act. And Politico is reporting that both Tony and, yes, John Podesta, Hillary’s campaign manager, and even Sid Blumenthal, they were all conveniently together this weekend at Hillary Clinton’s birthday party in Washington. Hmm. I wonder what everybody talked about.

And after new revelations that the Clinton campaign and the DNC paid almost $10 million to help spread Russia anti-Trump lies and propaganda, well now even Senator Susan Collins is saying that John Podesta and disgraced former DNC Chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz, they need to re-testify before Congress about the phony Clinton-Russian lying dossier that was meant to influence the American people on the eve of an election.

“They absolutely need to be recalled. It’s difficult to imagine that a campaign chairman, that the head of the DNC would not know of an expenditure of this magnitude and significance. But, perhaps there’s something more going on here. But, certainly, it’s worth additional questioning of those two witnesses.”- SEN. SUSAN COLLINS, R-MAINE ON CBS’ “FACE THE NATION”

And you need to know there is no chance that over $10 million goes out the door to pay for this lying dossier and nobody knows about it. If you listen to the Clinton people, the DNC people, “I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know.” Nobody knows. Ten million dollars out the door. And guess what? They’re all lying because they all used the same attorney and the same law firm.

Take a look how congressman and former prosecutor Trey Gowdy is now properly interpreting what Clinton and the DNC and now Obama did in paying for this dossier. This is interesting.

 “I’m not an election law expert, Chris, but the good news is, you don’t have to be to understand the absurdity of believing that can you launder all of your campaign money by just hiring a law firm. I mean, imagine if you and I were running for Congress and we just hired a law firm and said, ‘Hey, did you go do all the op, you go buy all the television, you go buy all the bumper stickers, you go hire all the experts and we’re going to launder all of this through a law firm.’ I can’t think of anything that defeats the purpose of transparency laws more than that.”- REP. TREY GOWDY, R-S.C. ON “Fox News SUNDAY”

Do we have equal justice under the law in this country today? If anyone else ever did anything close to what the Clintons, the DNC, and others did, we would be rotting in a jail cell.

The only difference between the Clinton-Uranium One scandal and Trump-Russia collusion is that we have the evidence and after a year of black helicopter conspiracy theories, they have none. And just like we have the evidence when it comes to Clinton and her email server scandal. Why hasn’t she been charged?

Fox News contributor Gregg Jarrett, has put together a list of all of the laws that were potentially (key word is potentially) broken all by the Clinton campaign and the DNC in the fake news dossier scandal.

Then there’s the massive Uranium One scandal that Congress rightly is now investigating. We do need a special prosecutor.

Finally, you have federal statutes involving crimes like bribery and mail fraud and wire fraud and racketeering. All of this is beyond serious. It compromised our national security and people should be put behind bars.

And just to recap, since it’s so important, probably the biggest scandal of all is Billy Boy and Hillary Clinton selling out America’s national security to Putin and the Russians and, guess what? The FBI had the information before they made the deal.

And the FBI director’s name at that time was Robert Mueller. And Eric Holder was the attorney general at the time who oversaw the FBI. They had to know. And, yet, a year later, when even though they had evidence of bribery and collusion and money laundering and all these crimes, they ignored the evidence, and Eric Holder and Clinton signed off on the single — beyond the Uranium deal — dumbest national security decision ever.

Rod Rosenstein, he oversaw the investigation. Remember, he is the guy that appointed Mueller on a local level while he was serving as the U.S. attorney from Maryland. He appointed Mueller to be the special counsel here.

This is beyond abusive. What about investigating their roles in Russia and Hillary Clinton’s State Department? Eric Holder signed off on the deal a year later, knowing that Putin, what his intentions were to corner the uranium market. Bill Clinton makes a fortune. Doubles his speaking fees. Paid with a check from a bank that has financial interest in Uranium One. He tried to get his wife meetings with Russian nuclear officials for him but he met with Putin instead. That was in 2009. Then in 2010, Putin gets everything he wants, in spite of all the evidence of his spies, his agents committing crimes in this country.

And as I mentioned earlier, between Fusion GPS, between Uranium One, there is evidence of real Russian collusion. America tonight is at a crisis point. Will we have equal justice under the law or will America just be a “Banana Republic”, corrupt at its core? That is what is at stake today. And that is what the biased media will never tell you because the media is part of the corruption that is the swamp and that is Washington, D.C.

So, today, America has a choice. We can have equal justice for everyone or we can live in a country where if you have the right politics, you stand for the “correct” left wing positions, you can sell out your country and you can get away with it.

The Real Russia Scandal

For months you could the word echoing from congressional offices and television studios all over Washington: RUSSIA, RUSSIA, RUSSIA! The very people who spent seventy years making excuses for the Soviet Union, were suddenly convinced that Russian agents had visited our shores in the dead of night to murder American democracy and to install their puppet in our White House; Trump won because of Vladimir Putin, that was their claim. It seem confusing to most people, but to the ruling class, the explanation made perfect sense. How else could their candidate, the candidate of Nancy Pelosi and Barack Obama, have lost last year’s November election?

Well, the media assured them that would never happen. In fact about a year ago, the New York Times ran this prediction: “Hillary Clinton has a 93% chance to win” and they believed it. When she didn’t win, the elites assumed that a foreign power must have intervened. No other explanation made sense to them. They only thing they lacked was evidence that it actually happened. And so to find that, they told us that we needed an immediate all hands on deck investigation of Russian interference. So we got one, boy did we. It turned out to be one of the most comprehensive investigations of anything in the history of this country. The FBI kicked it off and was soon joined by a fully staffed office of an independent counsel, as well as both houses of Congress. Almost every media outlet in America jumped obediently on board, pouring massive resources into a news story that started to look a lot like a conspiracy theory. An entire generation of non-russian speaking cable news hosts remade themselves into amateur kremlinologists. Frenzy spun out of control. And soon, liberals were not simply talking about a stolen election, but about war. Actual war.

“If Russia is going to keep attacking America, then America really should fight back. There is an entire building in St. Petersburg filled with a Russian ‘troll army’, creating thousands of tweets, memes, news site comments, and flat-out fake news stories, designed not to take sides on any issue, but just to get us fighting about it. Hillary Clinton spent over one billion dollars on the campaign and the Russians beat her with one hundred and fifty grand because they were able to turn Facebook into ‘Fakebook'”- BILL MAHER ON “REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER”

So you are accusing a nuclear armed adversary of committing an act of war and you are doing it purely in order to gain an advantage in a domestic political dispute? No normal person would do that, it is too reckless and crazy. But that is exactly what many of our leaders did, including sitting members of Congress, they called it war too. Mass hysteria does not even begin to capture this, we are living in a moment that makes the McCarthy era look reasoned and and considered. At least Joseph McCarthy was on to something real, there really were Soviet spies. There was no Russian collusion in last year’s election.

So how are all those investigations going? Well the New York Times, to its credit, took a look at that this weekend, and it turns out that if the Russians got Trump elected, then they left no trace of it. Even Senator Dianne Feinstein (D-CA) had to admit that after wasting untold time and money, her committee has not found evidence of collusion between Putin and the Trump campaign. The whole thing is a dry well, a fraud, a scam, a politically induced hallucination, it is totally nuts. A lot of people should be deeply ashamed of this (not that they are, of course).

But that does not mean that we have not learned anything. Robert Mueller’s team of investigators have apparently has found evidence of suspected wrongdoing by the Podesta group, which you will remember is a lobbying firm founded by Hillary Clinton’s campaign chairman John Podesta and his brother Tony. According to news accounts, the Podesta’s may have violated criminal law by failing to register as lobbyists for foreign powers. Not exactly a development that Democrats were hoping for when they cheered Mueller’s appointment for the counsel.

And then there’s the ongoing uranium-1 scandal, which has been explained in a series of devastating articles by The Hill. Back in 2010 (in a move that virtually nobody will now defend), the Obama administration allowed a Russian firm to gain control of over about twenty percent of our uranium reserves here in the United States. Before the deal was approved, Obama’s Department of Justice uncovered a massive Russian bribery ring working to get control of that uranium. The Obama administration kept that information secret, even from Congress, to let that deal go through. Now, why would they do that? Did it have anything to do with the more than one hundred million dollars Hillary Clinton’s family foundation took from the uranium-1 board members? (She was Secretary of State at the time.) Maybe. Just a guess, at some point we will find out for sure.

And that is the upside of the hysteria over Russian collusion. Its unintended consequences will be fun to watch, because when you make up a fake scandal, you never really know where it is going to go.